How is it? (to work in Sweden…Korta vagen 2)

My post about Korta vagen was really positive and inspiring for many people who read it (and told me this). Positive energy and happiness shined from it. Well, here comes the next stage – reality! It is not that I am less happy or not positive, it is just facing the reality that it is really hard. 🙂

My first week doing my internship in an organization where Swedish is official
language and all colleagues are Swedes – was really great and exhausting in the same time!

Everyone was really nice and I got great mentors who were trying hard to make me feel very welcome and it was great. Everyone was trying to make a small talk and to be kind. I can’t complain at all! But this caused a really strange feeling! And this strange feeling is because of the language!

It is so strong feeling that you desperately try to focus, listen and understand what are the colleagues talking about. You want to discuss with them, take part or answer when they ask something but you can’t and you completely forget that you can use English (sometimes). It is like the brain is not under your control and you only feel that forehead is getting wrinkles while focusing so hard. And this feeling becomes so powerful that, when someone finally start speaking English with you, you are so confused that you can’t even answer in English. What is happening? I never had this problem with English before.

It is so hard when you realize it’s been a while, you are sitting and having FIKA with your colleagues, without saying a word… And even when you get it – and want to say something, you already realize they changed the subject…and again.. (FIKA language is the hardest to understand for me – so quick, not structured, everyone is speaking and you become lost)

And then you feel really sad, you can’t discuss or answer and when you finally open your mouth, it feels like you are speaking so confusing that Swedes usually don’t get it what are you trying to say. And you start losing confidence and even hope.

I used to work with Swedes before, in Sweden, short period of time but it wasn’t like this. It was in international environment, in English. Couldn’t ever imagine that language plays such an important role. Or it might be the requirements and high goals you set yourself and then it is not possible to achieve it immediately. Then you feel even more pressure. Or it is because you care so much. I don’t know, but my brain is not under my control. Everything would be easier if I started with the fact that I am not speaking Swedish at all, but it wouldn’t be good for me since this is the phase I have to go through with this language. Everyone has to!

I thought it was too early for me to start working in Swedish environment, but then I heard from several friends that they all had this same feeling doesn’t matter how long they were living in Sweden or studying Swedish. So, we all have to get through this phase once!

And we have each other, to call, share our experience, support each other, and realize that we are not alone…

I also congratulated one colleague on getting a baby by mistake – didn’t understand his e mail well. 🙂  But it was funny 🙂

This was how I felt first week or two at my internship. And went to sleep early like 8 p.m.  🙂

Next post with more details is coming soon (without my feelings about the language)  🙂

Samra